Something I've had to keep in mind the last few days

Just because I adopt an Australian accent does not mean that I am automatically sporting a chest made of kevlar. For Adam's birthday we went to see Australia. I actually enjoyed it. It's definitely a big, impressive spectacle. I'm not going to really review the movie, I will probably rarely review a movie. Rather I'll review The Drover's chest, which is easy to review because it seemed to be in view for most of the three hours. It may have even been covered most of the time, I'm honestly not sure because it makes such an impression you can't imagine it being a secondary focus of the movie. It is what this movie is all about. It's too powerful to be subdued by shirts, jackets, vests, scarves, silks, or leathers. If I made a wall out of his chest I could survive sandstorms, hurricanes, twisters, wildfires, planes, spears, dodge balls, or any other number of projectiles. If I coated the front-end of my truck with his chest, I could rear-end a school bus and turn it into flakes up to row 14. I could shave off the thinnest outer layer of skin and serve salsa in one pectoral and queso in the other. They were simply immovable, inflexible, impenetrable objects. Lex Luger had a big chest. You remember he used to get in the ring and flex and bounce his pectorals like they were marionettes? I don't think The Drover's chest could do that, and yet it's more impressive for it. It reminds me of moss. Initially it looks like a cushion, but you know that there's granite under there. (And you can bet there's wood somewhere.) All that, and I haven't even mentioned the woolly. That's all I'm going to say. It was so impressive to me that I had to keep myself from speaking in an Australian accent the next day. My chest is not designed to stop bullets, I think it's rather better designed to feed children, and no amount of saying "drove" or "walkabout" will make it otherwise.