These damn stores! There's just no logic.

This is just a stupid rant. I never did get a review of Embryonic written up did I? Too much pondering candy. Way too much.

I had to pick up a couple things at Wal-Mart today. I have to admit I always feel a little guilty shopping at Wal-Mart, having the same problems with it that everybody else has. They just have no problem rolling in and erecting a giant eyesore wherever they can. From Stafford to Spotsylvania, there is now basically one Wal-Mart per I-95 exit. It's kind of disgusting. But, they carry some stuff that other stores don't have. For instance, the three ltd. edition Ben & Jerry's I wanted to try. Which are now in my freezer. Hopefully I can avoid eating all 3 pints tonight. Hopefully I can keep myself to just a taste of each. Enough to review, that's what I'm going for. I really need to start a separate blog (Yes, separate blog. Why separate blog WHY separate blog!) that focuses only on limited edition foods, and then have it blow up in popularity so companies will start sending me samples and inviting me to their expos. Anyway, this is not about ice cream or morals. Well, it's definitely not about morals.

It's about candy. Going to the cash register, I stumbled upon one giant display of Snickers Fudge bars, mixed with regular Snickers, and then another giant display of regular m&ms under strawberried m&ms under COCONUT M&Ms! Big bags! For those keeping track (have you kept track?) I have previously seen ONE bag of coconut m&ms larger than a small tucked under a bunch of regular m&ms in a Giant. And now, about four months after they originally came out, they're put out into full view. I can guarantee you that this Wal-Mart, nor any other Wal-Mart, has not been carrying any coconut m&ms before now. Late to the show! Why are they doing this to me?!? You know, hunting candy really is fun, but they could have saved me a lot of trouble having these two displays in place two months ago. But the bigger question is why? Why now? And where are they getting these now? Before I read that they were going to become a permanent addition to the line-up, I actually thought it might be worth my time to buy a couple small bags and hold on to them because, when it looked like they had been released and promptly eaten into oblivion, they were bags going on eBay for ludicrous prices. Look now, there's a big bag going for $15. And now you can buy them for $3 at Wal-Mart. Totally out of season! Coconut really is a summer flavor right? I'm sure people will eat them anytime, Almond Joy is obviously not hurting for fans. But how can these flavors get a fair chance if they're released, or promoted, at the wrong time. Absurd! It'd be like waiting until April to show me this fall's pumpkin ice cream. Okay, bad example, because I will jump on pumpkin anything at any time. Maybe it's like promoting chocolate pumpkins at Christmas. No it's not really that extreme. It's so ludicrous I can't come up with a good comparison! Am I really that upset? No. I just wasted a lot of time and a lot of gas for those things to be showing up en masse now. But AH, now I'm thinking about it a different way. Probably a good thing for ltd. edition reviewers isn't it? You find it in August and most other people aren't seeing it until October. A candy could live or die by that. The power! It's surging through my tongue.

One quick review that's kind of limited edition. Maybe not, this could be a regular player. Or it could go the way of the Bigfoot or the Big New Yorker. I tried the Stuffed Crust Pan Pizza from Pizza Hut tonight. I pretty much expected it to be half a foot deep and stuffed with cheese in every crevice. When I opened the box I was disappointed. It barely looked like pan pizza to me, and it definitely did not look stuffed. I pretty much thought I had gotten a regular hand-tossed crust pizza. I could kind of discern an extra ring of cheese on the inside of the crust, but I was so surprised by how much smaller it was than I expected that I drove it back to the Pizza Hut to make sure I had gotten what I had ordered. I was assured that was it. When I actually lifted a slice onto the plate, I did notice the extra heft. I was convinced now, it was larger than hand-tossed. When you eat the slice down to the crust, that's when you reach the stuffing. It's almost like having a ring of cheese between the crust handle and the rest of the slice from bottom to top rather than actually being stuffed inside the crust. So, that was my mistake, I was expecting something it wasn't. It's kind of neat, kind of tasty, but it didn't blow me away. Wouldn't get it twice. I'd much rather have the regular stuffed crust. I haven't had one of those in a really long time, but I think the ring of cheese in those is much thicker and a real feature. This cheese ring just kind of blends in. It's there, and you notice it, but it doesn't excite you as anything extra.

So I ate that. And I have a bunch of ice cream to try. And there's a big UFC pay per view tonight that I am completely stoked for and gave me a good excuse to pig out. So I'll sit and shove ice cream and pizza in my mouth while these guys in crazy condition pound it out for dominance. And I will feel like a zero. Until I write reviews for those ice creams, which will somehow make me feel special. Coming soon.